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ANXIETY PROBLEMS

If you have never suffered from anxiety count yourself very lucky as it is a very common form of mental illness that causes significant stress. I never thought I would ever suffer from it but after finding myself unemployed again, my mental state was becoming very weak and I felt life was suffocating me. Here is how I got to my lowest point.
Taking a desperate and wrong choice
With no work in sight after my previous TV contract expired, I decide to return to journalism but this time to print journalism. 

With few positions around, I begin a short business course because there is jobs in business reporting.

Do I like the business field? No. Do I find it boring? Yes. Why I am I doing it? I have no idea but I’ve nothing else to do. 

Doing something you don't want to do is a waste of time because you will never have a passion for it. 

Being unsure in work can make you stressed
My plan works though because a sunday paper allows me to come in and work for them for a week in their business section.

Their office is everything I expect it to be - rows of desks with newspapers everywhere with reporters hammering into their keypads or yelping into their phones.

On my first day, the business editor gets me working on an insurance story straight away.

My first written attempt is rejected and it takes another three rewrites to get it to print.

The first week goes by very quickly and on my last day it is unsure if I can come back the following week. When I ask the editor, he tells me to come in ‘only if  I want to’.

This happens every Friday for nearly three months and each time the editor's reply makes me feel more and more unwanted. 

If you are not really needed in a job, why stay? It will only make you more anxious and insecure

Panic Mode
As each week becomes more uncertain the stress builds and anxiety lurks. Eventually one day in the supermarket, it all becomes too much and I feel as though I am about to keel over. 

I dump my basket of groceries, head straight home and crash into bed. My esteem is at the lowest possible point and I cannot see a positive future.

After a couple of weeks I left the newspaper. I was only really supposed to be there a week not three months.

Getting Help
Afterwards, I try to cope with the acceptance that my head is in a miserable place and need to try find ways to deal with my worry.

I go to the doctor to seek help. I can barely even talk sense to him because my eyes are flooded with tears of shame as I try to explain why I am feeling so stressed. 

Relief
The encounter leaves me feeling incredibly relieved though and I feel super happier driving home knowing that I’ve done something about my head.

The acceptance of feeling unwell allowed me to take charge of where I am struggling and I began a list of things that I could do to help me feel better again. 


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